Don’t be a sore loser

THE awards show is over. You donned you best evening wear and were excited to possibly, just possibly, get on stage to collect that beloved trophy that you know you deserved. Who worked harder? Who worked longer hours? Who did more for their fans and family than you?

But then, in an instant your name is … not called. You want to “boo”, but instead you smile and clap. It sucks, I know. You see, success can feel like a relentless pursuit for some and I know it can seem that way for me that I go from one super exciting project to the next. Well, I fail. We all flipping fail. For every success and commission, someone says ‘no’, try again next year.

Revisiting something that you have no control over is toxic. It will make you feel worse. Instead, realize that in the eyes of everyone else, you didn’t merit the award. And that’s ok.

People’s opinions are messed up anyway. You don’t need them to make you feel better. If you do, you’re just lying to yourself. Trust in your own self. In your own abilities. Knowing that you have given your all, to be the best, or the most focused, or to be the most something, feels good in and of itself.

It’s absolutely human to respond to disappointment like many artists I spoke to after the NAMAs. Questioning the fairness of the process, the judgment of the giver and whether the winners deserved to win. It’s human, but it’s flawed, both logically and morally, and it leads very quickly to a dark place.

There’s some narcissism inherent in assuming that you deserve an award you did not get. At best, it’s shortsighted to presume that our understanding is complete. I mean, there may be numerous factors we don’t know about or think are lies, but the strength of our feelings does not make them true.

Not winning now provides you an opportunity to take joy in someone else’s success. That’s difficult, it takes practice, but the ability to enjoy another’s good fortune is part of an emotionally mature life.

So fetch your life and try again next year.